Third week into Amberen.
So many things are happening in my life and in my body, sometimes it is hard to differentiate what changes maybe attributable to what.
I do know that as my inner juiciness is returning, it seems to be affecting my feelings of warmth, receptivity and attractiveness. The first week I began the treatment, my partner and I, who are simultaneously working on healing relationship dynamics, had a much-improved sexual date connection. The source of this was actually from him as he shared some much-needed insights that were important to our mutual understanding and priorities. But the level of connection and intimacy that made some of this possible, he said, was the result of some emotional and behavioral changes he was feeling in me! For my part, I noticed that I found myself feeling more balanced and in my personal power. Could this be the result of hanging with my best girlfriends at Goddess Camp the weekend before? Most assuredly, some of it. And yet, I know that with the many contributing factors in my life, the shift in my hormonal balance is most definitely a factor!
Now, in my third week, I have temporarily moved away to stay at my friend’s house while she is in Hawaii to finish my book, and get some much-needed alone time. This week, after 3 peri-menopausal years of hourly hot flashes that interfered with my night’s sleep and more, I found myself just wanting to rest, take baths, meditate, read and yes, sleep – sometimes 9 or more hours a night! I still feel as if I am catching up on years of the lack of sleep, and I am giving myself permission to indulge! Not only am I sleeping, but I am also meditating 2-3 hours a day – another practice that was much more difficult to enjoy prior to Amberen! I am so happy and thrilled! This is a good thing!
As I gave myself permission to rest, I found wonderful texts just dropping in my lap, so to speak, to support the work on my book! Dr. Daniel Amen, Dr. Bruce Lipton, Greg Braden… I am reading about a book a day!
Today, I begin to work on my book in earnest and I feel so full of creative ideas and fun! The best expanation of how I am feeling is alive and more full of ME than I have been in awhile!
We had another sexual date last night. As he understands the tender nature of my vagina (sex felt like my inner walls were like sandpaper and painful!), he was so much more in his power in the situation. Where he seemed to previously feel angry about my dis-inclnation to experience that discomfort through intercourse, he seemed to have stepped more into his power and empathy, encouraging me to be clear about whether I was feeling better about doing so. I told him that I might want to make an attempt, if I could be on top and control the insertion process.
He was so tender and loving! I noticed that while I felt more juicy, I still felt a little fear that it might hurt. When the timing seemed right, he elected, instead to give me the most loving g-area massage first. My G-area had been chronically tender and uncomfortable, so he used his fingers to test and see if this was still the case, and although improved,, the tenderness was still there. So, he lovingly channeled energy and gently massaged me, while energy releases exploded and opened my innards and my heart more and more. I feel that some deep healing of trapped trauma and energy blocks were definitely released and I am so grateful to my partner for his patience and love.
I know that there are many variables that contribute to the woes of peri-menopausal / post menopausal symptoms: relationship dynamics, stress, personal health and emotional well-being, to name a few. I truly believe that in this process, good detective work is an important piece to re-balance conditions. Our attitude, approach, beliefs and perceptions are the genesis of how we experience and understand our own personal Universe. Times like these hopefully inspire us to take the time to notice what aspects of our lives are working, and which are not on every level. However, I am finding that much needed, natural biological intervention can make a huge difference!
I do prefer to use natural herbs and substances whenever possible. As a Chemical Dependency Counselor, I am well aware that pharmaceuticals, in order to qualify for patents/profits, are usually natural substances where molecules have been added or removed and combined with other synthetic substances. Often, these changes cause more problems than they solve — hence the long list of side-effects that you hear on those drug commercials! I am so thrilled that Amberen naturally stimulates the body’s own hormonal re-balancing and production, rather than replacement hormones, that come from ….. where?
The true key to this process is finding another level of self-love to the degree that we become that much clearer about what works (and what doesn’t). This is an important time for more inner awareness and clear choices that serve us better. Another key is the love of your family and friends and the reflections they mirror as we take this sacred journey. I am so grateful to my partner for his love. With our dedication to reclaim the beauty, joy and juice in our relationship, I know that we are succeeding!
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