As one of my dearest girlfriends passed on from cancer she had taught me a lot about giving and receiving. As she was on the way out, I was thrilled to give her massages once a week and her ability to receive was the greatest gift to me. I was able to spend time with her, which I otherwise may not have been able to do. I was able to channel all of my love to her in ways I might not have been able to do. Her joy and receiving was a gift to me. She was so thrilled, so enjoying the attention and so receiving of my love that I felt more gifted than giving!

Giving and receiving are both sides of the same coin. However, I have noticed in our culture, that giving is far more honored than receiving. It seems there is some underlying message that says, you shouldn’t be in need. You should be able to take care of yourself. Therefore, those who are able to give are acknowledged and those who must receive must be at fault in some way.

But how can the givers give, without those able to receive? We are designed as basically selfish beings. And that is as it should be. For if we are not self-full – that means making sure that all of our own personal needs are met, what does that leave for quality giving? I see it as if we have a personal, energetic bank account. If our bank account is not full, then what do we have to give? If you have not had enough rest, food, sex, and other important needs met, how does that affect you? You may find yourself cranky, impatient, and otherwise out of balance and the quality of what you have to give will be dramatically impaired. When you are well rested, happy, fed, nurtured, then the quality of what you have to give is so much better – you are less easily thrown off balance, clearer thinking, more compassionate, patient, etc.

When we give, it is a giving of energy. When we give of ourselves in some way, there is a basic need to know that what we are giving is beneficial and enjoyed by those who receive it. If we make a determination that our intention to please or improve in the giving is not met, than we are less likely to continue in the giving. Again, this is as it should be. For in giving energy, if it just blows off, the satisfaction in giving is not happening.

What is most satisfying is that we create a circuit of energy, where the energy is sent and in someway returns back. A good example of this is when a performer is putting out his energy to his audience, it is much more rewarding an experience for both if the audience is responsive. The energy is sent out, and returns to the performer through their receiving and appreciation, and so it is amplified as it returns, and the performer experiences greater inspiration and juice to give more to the crown and the energy just keeps on circuiting and amplifying. If the crowd is non-responsive, and the energy is not received, it drops off and then it becomes more and more difficult for the performer to sustain the level of energy required to perform.

When we give, we are in our power and we get the opportunity to express that power and share it. It feels good and is compelling because we are the ones in control of what is happening. We feel somehow validated and benificent in expressing that power. It is a personal ego stroke, and the joy we feel from those receiving it is very validating that we are a “good person.”

However, the receiving end of things is the greatest yoga. To receive might be seen to imply that we are in need — and neediness is considered to be at best a disempowered position, and at the worst, very unattractive. There is the implied idea that we can’t do it all ourselves (which of course we can’t no matter how much we think we can or should). To truly be able to receive feeling empowered and joyous as we do so is the greatest gift we can give another.

Things are not always as they seem. To give is a gift. To receive in beauty is a gift. To give is to receive another’s joy. And to receive is joyous as well — two sides of the same coin. So if we are talking about a price tag… Your joy in receiving is the payment – completing the circuit. But then again, a lot of what this price tag might entail is merely a reflection of your beliefs about it. What is the price tag when you give? An interesting area to explore, don’t you think?

Copyright 2007 SHAMANESQUE ENTERPRISES

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