I have always been an adventurer at heart, but I was trained by my very Catholic parents to follow the rules — and I really tried. I remember being a very deep thinking philosopher, asking the really deep questions at a young age. The answers I got from my parents, didn’t make much sense to me then, but I figured, that since they had been here longer than me, I had better listen. And so, I clearly remember at the ripe old age of six, that I set aside my questions, and chose to surrender and walk the path that my parents showed me with the answer “it’s a mystery” having to suffice.
I was a very good girl” – almost at a professional level, got decent grades, stayed mostly pure, did what was expected, married an attorney, and life should have been perfect!
My husband was basically a very good man, and a good father, and we were great partners and good friends for a long time, but there were important areas where I was frustrated and so was he. I was a very sexual woman and my husband talked a great game, but he was really not quite as interested as I. Then he hurt his back, and our sex life almost virtually disappeared. I tried everything I knew to re-ignite his interest (some good, some not so good), but to no avail.
As with my parents, even though my nature was otherwise, I followed the rules and tried to be a good “Stepford” wife. I cleaned, I cooked gourmet meals, I did crafts, I supported my husband in his business and all that is traditionally expected. And I must say, I did a pretty good job of it, but something just wasn’t right.
When my husband experienced some major difficulties in his business, I stepped in to do whatever I could to upgrade my income. But he became very depressed and we grew further and further apart. It got to the point where we were barely interacting. I consoled myself by exploring spiritual and metaphysical texts, and I was off and running. I had begun my journey out of the traditional values and I loved it! The more I learned, the more excited I became. My husband tried to be supportive, but he just couldn’t relate and the marriage eventually fizzled out.
I worked in the insurance industry, while studying Hypnotherapy, Shamanism and various energy healing modalities. I found that I had great aptitutde in these areas and learned quickly. Soon I began a private practice in her off hours, and continued my education, in between work and mothering duties.
Coming out of a 12 year, mostly sexless Marriage, I was ready to spread my wings. Armed with my three-year old and a burning desire to become a part of the solution, little did I know where my passion would take me.
One day I attended a sound healing workshop and met my current best friend, the First Los Angeles Tantra Teacher, Mare Simone. We didn’t come together right away, but by a twist of fate years later, we were re-connected and our journey together began. Mare was generous enough to share her teachings with me and to train me. And the rest is history.
Now that I had jumped out of the box and had some freedom, I found that my sexuality was undergoing a resurgence. When I discovered Tantra, I felt I had arrived home. But relationships were still a problem. I dated a number of men for a certain period of time, but due to my own issues with my family programming (ie: no boundaries, self sacrificing, self-esteem, and the like) it took me over 11 years to finally connect with someone who was willing to do the work we both needed to do to overcome our family training.
Since that time, the adventurer in me blossomed and through Tantra and other explorations, I learned more about the depths and pleasures available through sacred sexuality and relationships. I have experienced monogamous, swinging and polyamorous relationships. I have experimented in other alternative lifestyles and fetishes, and have gained a powerful understanding of many modes of relating and living. I have studied communication and sexual healing. As a student of consciousness and manifestation, I feel that I have become a forceful healer and guide for those who are ready to discover more about themselves and improve relationships, and expand the pleasure and sexual possibilities in their lives.
I am here to tell you that there is good news and bad news and it is the same news; we are in a New Age and Times, where we are no longer “required” to follow Tradition, and we now get to write our own script for our lives, our relationships and our sexuality. We need not longer be bound by convention, trying to fit our “square peg” self into a round hole.
What does this mean? This means that many of us are no longer willing to submit to the past to determine our future. And thus, those who are so moved, must then realize that it is time to take our own lives in our own hands and take responsibility for the design and choreography of our lives. It is time to grow up and step into our Adult awareness and give ourselves the opportunity to claim that which we are growing into.
However, part of the good news is that in opening to our authentic selves and truth, and aligning our lives with same, you do not have to re-invent the wheel. There are many other adventurers out there that can help to show the way. Do research, locate and acquire mentors who are already successful, take baby steps, and trust your inner guidance as you journey into the new and unknown. You will avoid common mistakes, learn from some new ones, and discover the beauty of your own, unique journey and wisdom.
As has been said, “We are the ones we have been waiting for!” It is TIME.
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